Worst Gifts

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I could use a good laugh. I sent these to some folks a few years back (so forgive me if you've already read them). They are from the flylady.com website. She had people write in and describe the worst gifts they had ever received. Here are just a few... Let me know if they make you laugh out loud, like they do me. (every time I read them!)

I had been down with the flu for several days before Christmas, and weakly joined the festivities on Christmas morning. My husband, who is gift-giving-impaired, did his shopping for me on the way home from church Christmas morning. The only place open, of course, was the local convenience store. He bought me - get this - a big stick of pepperoni. The smell alone was enough to send me to bed for the rest of the day. This has been the family joke for 20 years!

A few years ago my mother made oven mitts for several of the adult members of the family. Unfortunately, she couldn't figure out how to make the thumb so she just gave them to us without thumbs. Trying to figure out what to do with them amused us all day and we still have a good laugh every time we think about it.
The worst gift my husband ever got was from his two sons - in their 20's at the time. They spent a considerable amount of time making a potato gun for him. It was so powerful it could shoot a potato for about a city block. We still laugh about this one too.

I was about 7 years old. I had collected a precious handful of the prettiest rocks I could find. I thought long and hard if I could let go of something so precious, but decided that my dad deserved the best, so I would give my treasure to him. They were pebbles, quarts and chips of various size rock. I found a square piece of scrap wood and put fabric on the back of it. I very carefully arranged all the rocks on the plaque and dripped wax over them so they would shine and look wet. I was very proud of this project and did it all by myself. (I did get in a bit of trouble for using a candle without supervision). I wrapped it in paper towels and tape and presented it to my dad. What I didn't realize, that to the "untrained" eye, the gift I made, looked just like someone had eaten a heap of Christmas candy and vomited it up and it had petrified on a square piece of wood. My sweet father graciously received it and was kept safe in his top drawer for the next 34 years, the rest of his life.

My worst gift would have to be about 10 years ago (before I trained my husband to NOT be so practical) I had a gift under the tree that was really large and extremely heavy! I was sooo excited to open it on Christmas Eve! Well the enthusiasm really went down the toilet (excuse the pun) when the gift turned out to be..... a new porcelain TOILET! Needless to say I was speechless and my family has never let my husband forget about the most practical gift he ever got me!

There is no question that the worst gift we ever received was a Christmas teddy bear for my newborn. It was made from dead possums and smelled. It was apparently a well intentioned attempt by a group in New Zealand to utilize the furs of the non-indigenous pests that kill the native wildlife...but to think that I would put this thing in my newborn's crib was truly funny.

The first year we were married my DH obviously had NO clue!!! He went to the hardware store and did all his Christmas shopping for me. He got a new screen door handle, wooden numbers for the house (which he wrapped individually), a door mat and a shower curtain liner. Needless to say, it's been jewelry every year since! :) Love him dearly but that was a true test of love and patience on my part that first year.